Release Anger Appropriately 
(Rick Warren)

There are helpful ways and harmful ways to release your anger. For instance, sometimes we’d rather remain angry than admit to our anger. Yet, the Bible says that to be angry and not admit that you are angry is lying. And that’s a sin. 

Keep in mind: anger is not necessarily wrong. It only becomes wrong if we release it in a way that is inappropriate or destructive. My experience as a pastor is that most of us learned to express our anger when we were two- or three-years-old, and we’re still expressing our anger in the same way as adults. Needless to say, this simply doesn’t work. 

Most people express their anger in such a way that they end up farther away from their goal than they were before they became angry. Anger, expressed inappropriately, has the opposite effect of producing the intended results. Blowing up at people never produces lasting change; it only produces more anger and alienation. We know that but we still do it. It doesn’t produce lasting change. 

Something to keep in mind is that anger is never really the root problem. It is usually a symptom that reveals one of three things is happening: hurt, fear, or frustration. These are the three things that make us angry, and this is why we should always stop and cool down. It allows us to think - 

Am I hurt? Am I afraid? Perhaps feeling threatened, or that I’m going to lose something of value? Or, am I frustrated? 

Understanding the source of your anger will help you respond in an appropriate manner, so that your anger does not “lead you into sin.” (Ephesians 4:26 TEV)

Amen amen amen!

Release Anger Appropriately
(Rick Warren)

There are helpful ways and harmful ways to release your anger. For instance, sometimes we’d rather remain angry than admit to our anger. Yet, the Bible says that to be angry and not admit that you are angry is lying. And that’s a sin.

Keep in mind: anger is not necessarily wrong. It only becomes wrong if we release it in a way that is inappropriate or destructive. My experience as a pastor is that most of us learned to express our anger when we were two- or three-years-old, and we’re still expressing our anger in the same way as adults. Needless to say, this simply doesn’t work.

Most people express their anger in such a way that they end up farther away from their goal than they were before they became angry. Anger, expressed inappropriately, has the opposite effect of producing the intended results. Blowing up at people never produces lasting change; it only produces more anger and alienation. We know that but we still do it. It doesn’t produce lasting change.

Something to keep in mind is that anger is never really the root problem. It is usually a symptom that reveals one of three things is happening: hurt, fear, or frustration. These are the three things that make us angry, and this is why we should always stop and cool down. It allows us to think -

Am I hurt? Am I afraid? Perhaps feeling threatened, or that I’m going to lose something of value? Or, am I frustrated?

Understanding the source of your anger will help you respond in an appropriate manner, so that your anger does not “lead you into sin.” (Ephesians 4:26 TEV)

Amen amen amen!

Reflect Before You Respond 
(Rick Warren)

When you’re angry, don’t respond impulsively. Delay is a great tool in controlling anger. I’m not saying delay indefinitely, or even beyond a day; the Bible says don’t go to sleep when you’re angry. I’m talking about delaying it for five minutes. 

When you start to get ticked off, you take “time out’ for a few minutes. Give yourself some time to stop, reflect and think it through. If you don’t stop and think, you are likely to do the wrong thing. You need to reflect before respond. 

When we get angry, we need to get in the habit of stepping back, waiting a few minutes, and, then, look at the situation from God’s point of view. Notice the Bible says a wise man lets his anger cool down. (Proverbs 29:11) 

So “cool it’ is a Biblical term! A modern translation might be: “The wise man waits and chills out.” While you’re cooling down, ask yourself three questions to help you understand why you are angry - Why am I angry? What do I really want? How can I get it? 

Understanding the reason for your anger will give you greater patience and, perhaps, even the ability to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11)

Amen amen amen!

Reflect Before You Respond
(Rick Warren)

When you’re angry, don’t respond impulsively. Delay is a great tool in controlling anger. I’m not saying delay indefinitely, or even beyond a day; the Bible says don’t go to sleep when you’re angry. I’m talking about delaying it for five minutes.

When you start to get ticked off, you take “time out’ for a few minutes. Give yourself some time to stop, reflect and think it through. If you don’t stop and think, you are likely to do the wrong thing. You need to reflect before respond.

When we get angry, we need to get in the habit of stepping back, waiting a few minutes, and, then, look at the situation from God’s point of view. Notice the Bible says a wise man lets his anger cool down. (Proverbs 29:11)

So “cool it’ is a Biblical term! A modern translation might be: “The wise man waits and chills out.” While you’re cooling down, ask yourself three questions to help you understand why you are angry - Why am I angry? What do I really want? How can I get it?

Understanding the reason for your anger will give you greater patience and, perhaps, even the ability to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11)

Amen amen amen!

The Cost of Your Anger
(Rick Warren) 

The Bible says there is always a price tag to uncontrolled anger. Can you relate to any of these verses? 

Proverbs 15:18: “Hot tempers cause arguments, but patience brings peace.” (TEV) 

Proverbs 29:22: “People with quick tempers cause a lot of quarreling and trouble.” (TEV) 

Proverbs 14:17: “People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm.” (TEV) 

The Bible says, “The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left. He shall be the servant of a wiser man.” (Proverbs 11:29 TLB) 

Whenever I lose my temper, I lose. You don’t make it to the top if you’re continually blowing your top. The word “danger’ is the word “anger’ with the letter “d’ in front. And anger is dangerous. You could lose everything: your reputation, your spouse, your job, your health. 

A few years ago, I read about medical research on the human heart that revealed, if you reduce the hostility in your life, you can prolong your life. Mom and Dad, listen, we may get a short-term pay-off by motivating our kids through anger — they will comply out of fear — but in the long run, we’ll lose because anger always alienates. It turns people off rather than turning them on. And, instead of getting what you want, it causes people to become apathetic to your needs and angry at you. 

One way to manage your anger is to come to grips with how much it is costing you.

Amen amen amen!

The Cost of Your Anger
(Rick Warren)

The Bible says there is always a price tag to uncontrolled anger. Can you relate to any of these verses?

Proverbs 15:18: “Hot tempers cause arguments, but patience brings peace.” (TEV)

Proverbs 29:22: “People with quick tempers cause a lot of quarreling and trouble.” (TEV)

Proverbs 14:17: “People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm.” (TEV)

The Bible says, “The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left. He shall be the servant of a wiser man.” (Proverbs 11:29 TLB)

Whenever I lose my temper, I lose. You don’t make it to the top if you’re continually blowing your top. The word “danger’ is the word “anger’ with the letter “d’ in front. And anger is dangerous. You could lose everything: your reputation, your spouse, your job, your health.

A few years ago, I read about medical research on the human heart that revealed, if you reduce the hostility in your life, you can prolong your life. Mom and Dad, listen, we may get a short-term pay-off by motivating our kids through anger — they will comply out of fear — but in the long run, we’ll lose because anger always alienates. It turns people off rather than turning them on. And, instead of getting what you want, it causes people to become apathetic to your needs and angry at you.

One way to manage your anger is to come to grips with how much it is costing you.

Amen amen amen!

Resolve to Manage Your Anger 
(Rick Warren)

The Bible says, “Love is not easily angered.” It doesn’t say love never gets angry at all. In fact, sometimes the loving thing to do is to get angry. Jesus became angry in the Temple when he saw his Father’s house being run like a marketplace. 

At the same time, we can love someone and still get angry at that person. Sometimes the anger may be “righteous’ and sometimes it may be “selfish,’ but the people we love the most are the ones most likely to make us angry. 

My point is — God placed the capacity to get angry into your biological makeup. Being angry is not a sin; it can become a sin if we allow it to push us into destructive behavior, but the emotion itself is not a sin. The Bible says even God gets angry. 

You can’t avoid anger, but you can learn how to control it. You can resolve to manage it, so it becomes an asset, rather than a liability. This means you quit making excuses and justifying your anger: “That’s just me. I just blow up. I can’t control it.’ 

Anger can be controlled. Have you ever been in a fight with someone and things are getting pretty loud, but, then, the telephone rings? Notice how quickly you can manage your anger! You’ve got a lot more control over your anger than you think you do. Resolve to manage it, and, then, confess, “I can control it with God’s help.”

Amen amen amen

Resolve to Manage Your Anger
(Rick Warren)

The Bible says, “Love is not easily angered.” It doesn’t say love never gets angry at all. In fact, sometimes the loving thing to do is to get angry. Jesus became angry in the Temple when he saw his Father’s house being run like a marketplace.

At the same time, we can love someone and still get angry at that person. Sometimes the anger may be “righteous’ and sometimes it may be “selfish,’ but the people we love the most are the ones most likely to make us angry.

My point is — God placed the capacity to get angry into your biological makeup. Being angry is not a sin; it can become a sin if we allow it to push us into destructive behavior, but the emotion itself is not a sin. The Bible says even God gets angry.

You can’t avoid anger, but you can learn how to control it. You can resolve to manage it, so it becomes an asset, rather than a liability. This means you quit making excuses and justifying your anger: “That’s just me. I just blow up. I can’t control it.’

Anger can be controlled. Have you ever been in a fight with someone and things are getting pretty loud, but, then, the telephone rings? Notice how quickly you can manage your anger! You’ve got a lot more control over your anger than you think you do. Resolve to manage it, and, then, confess, “I can control it with God’s help.”

Amen amen amen